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Have you ever failed at something? You went out on a limb to try something new and it didn’t work. How did that work for you? Believe it or not, it’s not the end of the world. Try again and see what happens.

We often think that if we try something and it doesn’t work out, that we failed at it. Where does that come from? What does the term “failure” mean? The term “failure” basically means the absence or lack of success. I often think back in my life at what I failed at. Or did I fail? Could it be that instead of failure, it was a learning experience? 

Most people default to this word “failure”. But why? Could it be that we constantly focus on the negative instead of the positive? When someone fails at something, people are very quick to point out the failures instead of the successes. Focusing on something and turning it into a learning experience is something that is developed by practice. You don’t just wake up one day and say, I’m going to be a positive person today and never mention the word failure.

Being afraid of failure can control what you do in life. It makes us very reluctant to grab opportunities that come our way. Because we fear that failure, we don’t try to do anything. Isn’t that the biggest failure of all? Not even trying.

You shouldn’t be afraid to fail. Being fearful of not having the courage to try. It’s very important to understand that the fear of failure is a huge obstacle on your road to success. Taking small steps towards your goals will make a huge difference at the end of the day.

As an example, if you repeatedly have relationship after relationship, and they never seem to work out, JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE! You need to understand why the relationships are not working. If you look at each one, you will start to see a pattern emerge of one thing or another. Once you identify what that is and acknowledge it, you can then start to learn from it. How can I change it and move forward so I don’t repeat it again. Sometimes you need another persons perspective to help you identify what the issue is.

Once you do identify it, look at it and see when was it happening, and what issue it was causing you or your partner, such as “significance”. Maybe you weren’t making your partner feel significant. This is one of six basic human needs. If this is a pattern in your relationships, imagine how the other person feels. How do you feel when your partner doesn’t make you feel significant? It doesn’t feel that good.

If this is something that you are repeatedly doing in every relationship and it’s the cause of the breakup, then you will eventually feel like you failed at relationships. The next thing that can happen is that you won’t go into relationships because your mind believes that you will fail at the next one. Back to “I won’t even try anymore”. It becomes a negative cycle, and gets anchored in you, and is hard to break.

Here are some reasons as to why people may fail at something:

  1. Lack of self-discipline
  2. Lack of persistence
  3. Lack of planning
  4. Fear of failure
  5. Lack of believing in oneself
  6. Wanting to much to fast
  7. Lack of humility
  8. Not believing in yourself
  9. Not taking responsibility for something

Turning these things into learning experiences:

  1. Have self-discipline
  2. Be persistent
  3. Plan
  4. Believe in yourself
  5. Slow down a bit
  6. Confidence
  7. Take responsibility

You can take that failure and turn it into the learning experience that will start to change your life. Make a point to change it and see what happens next. You will start to see that you actually attract something different than you usually do. This is because you learned from the past relationships and are applying new tactics to help make your dreams come true, and obtain what you are seeking. It isn’t easy to change something and break bad habits, but with a little work, you can.

Until next time…..

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Dana G. Smith, CC

Dana G Smith CC is a Certified Relationship Coach/Consultant and co-creator of The Mindful Trucker Institute, helping companies and professional drivers with better Health, Safety, and Wellness.